Why My Tinder Profile Sucks
COVID has destroyed my dating life.
And I hate social media. I just created an Instagram a year ago. TikTok bugs the crap out of me. But what other options do I have to talk to a human that’ll make me more excited than an old man on Viagra?
None. So I created a Tinder account.
First month: no matches.
Second month: no matches.
“Maybe I’m doing something wrong,” I assumed while laying on my bed staring up at my phone, depressed, lonely, and horny (the worst emotional cocktail known to man).
After some research…
I’ve messed up many relationships in the most important phase: the beginning.
I’d overthink my text messages, experience gut-wrenching anxiety if I didn’t receive a response immediately, overcompensate to get the person to like me, and fear they’d leave me eventually.
Most of these feelings (claiming all would be a lie) and behaviors evaporated when I realized this one truth about relationships:
By breakup, divorce, or death, the person you’re infatuated with or the person you’re in a relationship with, will no longer be yours sooner or later.
Sounds drab, I know. But it’s the truth.
Look at the relationships…
I have many weaknesses.
I argue for no reason.
I watch dating reality TV shows until 6 am.
But I do have an innate superpower.
It’s the ability to connect with anyone.
It’s the skill that has called me to become a Marriage and Family Therapist.
It’s the skill that’s improved my dating life.
It’s the skill that’s gotten me into “the popular” group at school and work despite being socially anxious.
It’s the skill that’s maximized my leadership and job…
You don’t find your purpose — you build it
“We awaken when we see knowledge being spread that goes against our own personal experiences.” — Suzy Kassem
What if everything you knew about “purpose” was wrong? That your passion isn’t internal but external? What if your calling wasn’t waiting to be found, but wanting to be claimed?
Seth Godin — the entrepreneur, creator of one of the biggest blogs in the world, and author of 19 best-selling books about marketing, business, and leadership, believes the idea of purpose is ludicrous.
“This isn’t about waiting for the right answer because there…
The Difference & Why it Matters
Most of us believe an introvert doesn’t like socializing while an extrovert does. We also think our personality is inherently either or — either introverted or extroverted.
This is wrong.
An introvert loses energy in social situations or gains energy from being alone. Extroverts are typically higher energy and prefer to release it through socializing. Also, if feeling lower energy, an extrovert will replenish it through socializing.
At birth, we’re naturally half introvert, half extrovert. Some of us may sway towards one side or the other — 60% introvert, 40% extrovert, for example. …
It’s Ok to have negative thoughts.
It’s Ok not to be your best for all waking moments.
It’s Ok to say something hurtful to someone you love.
It’s Ok when they say something hurtful in return.
It’s Ok to have trouble acknowledging a mistake.
It’s Ok to procrastinate.
It’s Ok not to know how to do something.
It’s Ok to feel scared.
It’s Ok to feel stressed.
It’s Ok to feel nervous before the date, the kiss, the first time.
It’s Ok to feel less than.
It’s Ok when they disagree with you.
It’s Ok to let them be them.
We run scenarios in our heads about the party or gathering we’ve been invited to.
We rehearse greetings and answers to surface-level questions. We manufacture and script words and actions to relieve every “what if.”
The tension before the party doesn’t fade or evaporate while we’re at the party equipped with practiced lines and movements. For some (perhaps most), the fear and anxiety only strengthen when we’re surrounded by people we know and don’t know.
Instead of enjoying the present moment, we strategize about how and when we’re going to escape and run away to our rooms — alone —…
Kobe Bryant is my favorite athlete and idol.
His work ethic and determination are my motivation to sit my butt in a chair and slam my fingertips atop plastic keys when I’d rather be doing anything else.
The impact Kobe had on my life can’t be explained. But in the hustle and bustle of everyday life, I go days without remembering his contributions. And I believe I use his spirit to improve myself more than most.
While Kobe was at the peak of his basketball career, winning championships and awards, many believed him to be the best player ever.
Don’t follow trends because you’ll forever be altering yourself and your art.
Trends change. Algorithms change. Platforms change.
Youtubers freaked when the editors of the platform changed their algorithm to preference view time.
Medium writers complain about the good ol days of Medium when they could get paid from claps alone.
Publications mold and suffocate authentic creativity.
Will you succeed if you don’t follow the advice of today?
“How to Get More Views on Your Videos in 2021”.
“The 5 Tips to Get More Followers on Medium”
Success is never guaranteed. Advice like trends will forever change.
The only constant…