“There are two tragedies in life. One is to lose your heart’s desire. The other is to gain it.” — George Bernard Shaw
We would be dead if we didn’t attach to people.
“The propensity to make strong bonds to particular individuals is a basic component of human nature,” said John Bowlby, the British psychologist who discovered the survival necessity of attachment.
Bowlby explained that a child needed to attach to their parent figures (especially mother) to survive — get food, water, and shelter.
Bowlby isn’t the only psychologist to recognize the importance of attachment. Abraham Maslow created The Hierarchy…
“If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never, ever have enough.” — Oprah Winfrey
My friend broke up with his girlfriend for the more attractive option — the girl with the bigger boobs, rounder butt, and prettier face.
The sexier girl wasn’t as bubbly and light and soft as his ex. He pleaded for her to take him back; she said no.
Married women cheat more than married women (1). They divorce their safe, “boring” husband for the man who rides motorcycles, owns a business, and has a million Instagram followers.
Her new life in the larger…
“To know a species, look at its fears. To know yourself, look at your fears. Fear in itself is not important, but fear stands there and points you in the direction of things that are important. Don’t be afraid of your fears, they’re not there to scare you; they’re there to let you know that something is worth it.” — C. JoyBell C.
Self-knowledge is the most useful wisdom you can possess.
It will help you discover your purpose, that feeling of fulfillment that inspires you to work for hours without break or days and months without vacation.
His actions torment her.
She’s angry because she’s hurt. She wants answers. She wants to know why he’s been dismissive. She wants to know why he’s been distancing himself.
She wants to know why he broke up with her from what appears “out of nowhere.”
She’s alone physically but not spiritually. She converses with cycles of grief and fury and contemplation that act as a second entity.
“Why did he say that? What does it mean? What does it mean about me? Did I deserve it? Did I do something wrong? Will I ever be loved again? Am I loveable?”
Your pain is not your fault. A remark from a parent or sibling or peer is all that is needed to trigger a pain response similar to a limp after a broken leg.
Our responses and coping strategies are our biological mechanisms to heal a wound. But our typical responses to relieve pain leave us stuck, hopeless, and shaded by dark clouds.
Limping, using crutches, taking medication (legally or illegally), drinking alcohol, lying on the couch watching Netflix, playing video games, scrolling through your Instagram feed, and chasing love only temporarily relieve the pain.
Regardless of how scared you are…
You’re lying to yourself.
“You’re a loser” is only fact if you believe it to be.
You have evidence somewhere in your history to prove your greatness. We all do.
When we investigate our interpretations and meanings, we rediscover our power. The power to shapeshift our identity, our beliefs. The power to falsify “truths.”
We expand our consciousness when we break free from the finite. A cageless bird can see the clouds from all angles.
From here, he understands himself, others, and the world with clarity.
He understands the world and the people it in project their hurt to weaken…
I’ll help you reconnect to your true self | Authenticity | Trauma | Healing